Sunday, May 10

Motherhood - not like the brochure!?

Happy Mothers' Day Mummies!

Hope you are all well rested after a full night of sleep, being waited on hand-and-foot and being fed grapes... no?? Am I surprised? If this is you... please don't rub it in!

A reflection of my role as a mother - is it all I thought it was going to be? No - much more but not as idealistic as I once thought.

I remember in my power-80's/90's decade I used to think that motherhood was something I'd get around to when I'd done everything else.. and I'm glad in a way I did - but now I see it more as the nirvana after growing up... I with the willing help of my hubby (!!) created three wonderful human beings to share our life with, show what we know and most surprisingly teach us more than we ever imagined.

I also being somewhat of an independent careerwoman who never really aspired to be wife/mother type rolemodel (more about having a choice) used to think that naturally I'd just go back to work and my hubby would look after the kids.. when I had Eloise there was NO way on earth that was going to happen! Me ? Go to work, whilst HE got to have fun all day with the kids? Nope. Reality was I had to go back to work early anyway and I worked most of Eloise's life until her little twin sisters arrived when she was 18 months old.

Then I felt all I amounted to was a feeding, settling, washing, cooking, cleaning robot. I longed for the days where I wasn't 'just' a Mother, I had adult interaction, someone would listen to me and my views and challenge me in ways that weren't about childhood discipline and sleep deprivation. I felt those days if not lost would be a long way away.
It's odd I feel/felt this way - not that I was itching to go back to work, and when I did it was only for financial reasons but it did me the world of good - made me a better mother. Having the balance.

Now I'm not working again and having just had my first week of full-time stay-at-home-mumdom it has been wonderful. I realised how much I miss their company, the lots of hugs and how much more we can do now they are that bit older, how much more of an impact I can have on their development, I really didn't know what I was missing.

Is it a case of grass is greener maybe? I tend to think it's about timing.

Is motherhood part of me or is it mostly me? I don't know. I guess over time it will change and I will look upon these days with wistfulness. I intend to make every moment count.

And here's a little pic I took of me and my girls this week with the self-timer on our camera. It's a bit out of focus but I like it!

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1 lovely comments:

Deb said... [Reply to this amazing comment]

I love this post. I think it is so true about wanting to be more than a cleaning, feeding etc. robot. I went back to paid work because I got fed up with being dismissed because I was a 'stay at home mum'. I love the balance of a bit of work and a bit of being mummy. I don't think people who haven't done the full time mum thing can really understand how difficult it can be.


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