Saturday, May 30

Never say never

Isn't it funny how non-parents or better still impending parents have such idealised views on parenthood? The reality of the 25-hours-a-day-of-parenthood hasn't set upon them yet. It's like those people who squeal with delight when they see newborn twins 'Oh wouldn't having twins be sooo cute!'. 'Umm no, I haven't slept in three days and I'm distraught at having to choose which crying baby to pick up first'
The reality is always different to the fairytale.
Thursday after playgroup, we ducked into the chemist where there was an expectant mother. She was with her mother buying a breast pump and in passing (perhaps in desperation) asked me what I would recommend. I made my suggestion and also recommended they tape the receipt to the box in case they didn't use it or need it.

'Oh, I'm definitely going to breastfeed, no way I'm giving MY baby that stuff in a can'.

I just nodded knowingly 'oh, okay'.

This has been playing on my mind ever since... Has reality given way to the idealism and convictions I had on parenting as a non-parent? Probably. I didn't think I'd go back to work as early as I did with Eloise. After the breastfeeding disasters I had with Eloise I 'decided' I was definitely not going to breastfeed Laura and Olivia due to logistics of breastfeeding twins with an 18 month old toddler on the loose... turned out I reneged on that too because Laura had apnoea episodes on the bottle...
Did you say 'My kids won't watch the wiggles?' 'I won't co-sleep?'

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4 lovely comments:

DaniV on May 30, 2009 at 12:58 PM said... [Reply to this amazing comment]

Love your blog! I nodded along with this post... so true!

Chantelle on May 30, 2009 at 2:20 PM said... [Reply to this amazing comment]

I agree. The ideals I had: some happened, some didn't. I have a years supply of cloth nappies all ready to go. I used one, once.

I was pretty open though. I wanted to breastfeed. If it didn't happen, I knew I would eventually be okay with that. Sleeping, I didn't really care. I just knew with everything I would do what worked, and what made my baby happy (and me happy).

We're not perfect, but we're doing okay. x

Bethwyn on May 30, 2009 at 3:01 PM said... [Reply to this amazing comment]

I think I was always pretty open about parenting when I was expecting and when we were trying, but there are a lot of things I never thought I'd try that I did, like co-sleeping with my first and CIO with my second.

Breastfeeding also didn't work for us and it was also something I didn't even bother trying with my second because I knew from the first time around that it was not something I wanted to go through again (short version: made zero milk and my son got so dehydrated he was close to organ failure. I was asking for help the whole time from midwives, they told me to "just keep feeding him").

When you're a parent you gotta do what you gotta do to get through the day and keep your sanity.

jennifer on February 4, 2011 at 12:53 PM said... [Reply to this amazing comment]

Interesting because you were a nanny once and so was I. I've always wondered if I'm better as a nanny or as a parent or if I would change things. I think as a nanny I was endlessly patient and would probably be less patient with my own kids. Certainly being a nanny I'm thankful that I got to experiment on someone else's children instead of my own and that I don't have to do as much trial and error, plus you learn from the parents mistakes. I'd be interested in reading a post on the differences between being a nanny and being a mum and how you changed...


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